


Like Wolves

by Butterynutjob



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: At least for XMFC and DOFP but hopefully for XMA as well, Canon Compliant, Canon Disabled Character, F/F, Kid Fic, Pre-Femslash, Trans Character, non-traditional pronouns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 16:33:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5255465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butterynutjob/pseuds/Butterynutjob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Between the time she was almost drowned at birth and the time that she showed up in Charles Xavier's kitchen looking for food, Raven lived a hard life. She lived in the woods and on the streets of the far northern reaches of new York State in the late 1930's, not knowing what she was, until she met her Destiny in a cabin in the woods.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Wolves

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fantalaimon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantalaimon/gifts).



> I used the gender-neutral pronouns 'Ze' (for he or she) and 'hir' (for his or hers) for about half the fic, until the main character decides hir own pronouns. 
> 
> This is 75% of one prompt and 25% of another one you wrote. I really hope you like this!

When ze was very young, before ze could recognize any words, ze usually disguised hirself as a puppy. Ze usually chose to be a black labrador puppy, because ze had seen one once when ze was very little and the people were nice to it. Also, it was warmer with fur than without, and easier to get food. 

The few times ze had forgotten and let hir natural form show in front of people, there was yelling and rocks thrown at hir and it was so terrifying that ze ran away into the forest and didn’t eat for two days. Ze was very hungry until ze figured out that ze could eat some berries and nuts and dig for grubs. Ze also found that if ze whined pathetically enough, ze could get a mother wolf to drag hir into her den where ze could sleep snuggled in a warm pile with the wolf cubs. 

Ze couldn’t stay a puppy while ze slept, though, and a few unpleasant mornings getting nipped and snarled at in a wolf’s den made hir realize that ze needed to sleep on hir own. Ze stole some coats from a rubbish bin and found an abandoned car in the forest, rusty and with all the windows broken out. Ze moved hir coats into the car along with whatever few interesting things ze found while ze was out and wanted to keep; a green rock, a whole coke bottle, a perfectly round piece of glass that fascinated hir. 

It was the first home ze remembered. 

Ze knew ze was different than everyone else—both the dogs and the people. People had houses and other people, and dogs had other dogs. Ze was something—else. 

Ze thought ze might be a bird. Ze frequently saw big black birds, yelling and complaining about everything, taking food wherever they could get it, free to do as they wished. They never seemed cold or hungry. Ze liked to think ze could talk to them; at least, ze could make the exact same sounds and had several times been closely investigated by their beady black eyes. They actually seemed to prefer hir natural form, so ze felt an affinity for them. Ze could take the form of them, but since ze was too big and the feathers weren’t quite right and ze couldn’t fly, ze never did it when any of them were around - ze was afraid of scaring them off, since they were the one kind of life who didn’t seem afraid of hir. 

**

One autumn day ze was foraging for nuts and berries when ze saw the biggest dog ze had ever seen. Ze reflexively adopted hir puppy form, but the dog stood up on its hind legs and roared and ze realized—this was no dog. It was something far, far bigger than ze’d ever seen before and it was apparently very angry with _hir._

Ze ran as fast as ze could, not even sure which direction, hir heart pounding. Ze heard the dog—no, the monster—crashing through the forest behind hir and kept running until ze couldn’t hear that anymore. Ze stepped on something sharp with hir puppy paw and yipped and immediately regretted making the sound.

Then ze saw the cabin. 

Ze came to an abrupt halt the moment ze saw it. Cabins were where people lived. People liked puppies, usually, but there were exceptions. Sometimes cabins were empty, but this one had a thin stream of smoke rising out of the roof. 

Ze listened as hard as ze could and could not hear the monster anymore. It was almost dark, though; ze needed to get back to hir abandoned-car-home because it would be getting very chilly soon. Ze took a step and yipped involuntarily because the sharp thing ze’d stepped on was still in hir paw. 

Ze was about to change to her natural form, where it was easier to walk on two legs, when ze heard a voice. 

“Hello?”

Ze froze. It was a human voice, soft-spoken, not too close but closer than ze was comfortable with. Ze wanted to run, but something in the voice made hir want to reconsider. 

“Are you still there? I won’t hurt you.”

Ze saw the speaker then: an adult human woman between hir and the cabin. The woman had long, loose, curly hair the color of dry earth making a wild halo around her head, and she was wearing a long garment that might once have been white, but had become mottled off-white because it was covered with stains. The woman was holding a stick in one hand and the other hand was reaching towards hir. 

Ze felt wary, but cautiously optimistic about the woman. Ze knew some people were very kind to puppies. As long as ze could stay a puppy, she wouldn’t be in danger here—and the woman might even give hir food. 

Ze limped toward the figure in the dress, whining a little because ze had found that made people especially sympathetic. The person knelt down as she got closer. “Oh, a puppy,” the person breathed in a soft voice. “Are you hurt?”

Ze knew enough words to answer, but puppies didn’t talk, so ze just whined a little. 

“Do you want to come with me? Maybe I can help.”

The soft voice was prettier than birdsong to hir. Ze felt a weight leave hir as ze realized that ze could probably get a meal from the human before ze went back to hir own home. Ze wagged her tail happily as the figure straightened, when to hir surprise the figure stretched the stick out and poked hir right in the side! Shocked and confused, ze backed up. 

“Oh no, I am so sorry!” The voice was genuinely distraught. “I hope you are still here! I didn’t mean to hurt you!”

Ze stared at the figure, who was looking directly at hir, although there was something strange about her eyes…

 _This person can’t see me,_ ze realized, and was unprepared for how happy that idea made hir. Ze thought about changing forms to make walking easier but ze had learned caution. Ze did lick the person’s hand, making the person startle and laugh. 

“I guess you are still here,” the woman said softly. Ze started following the woman towards the cabin, giving the waving stick a wide berth.

**

The cabin was warm and cozy. Ze hadn’t realized how cold ze had been. Ze thought again about changing forms—after all, ze was pretty sure the woman couldn’t see—but again decided to be cautious. 

“Puppy food, let’s see…” the person was reaching into a cupboard. “I think this is a can of stew. Puppies like that, don’t you, boy?”

Ze barked once. Ze didn’t care what was in the can; ze planned to eat as much of it as was offered to hir. 

She slowly walked to another cupboard and found a bowl, then very slowly found a can opener. 

Ze couldn’t help whining a little at how _long_ the whole process was taking. 

The woman chuckled. “Patience, puppy! Everything takes a little longer when you’re blind.”

 _Blind._ Ze had never heard that word before. Ze wondered what it meant.

“Oh, dear,” the person murmured, sniffing the bowl as she put it on the floor. “It’s not stew after all. I’m so sorry, puppy.”

It was green beans. Ze didn’t care; it was food. Ze ate it with gusto. 

**

After the woman found another can of food for hir (it was chicken soup the second time, which was a vast improvement), the person added a log to the small fire in the corner of the cabin and sat down on the plush chair in front of it. It had started raining outside, and ze was reluctant to go back into the dark, wet, night when it was so warm and dry in the cabin. There was a space next to the woman, and she patted it with a meaning that was unmistakable even to someone who had never even lived with humans: _come sit with me._

Ze hesitated. Nothing sounded better than sitting in front of the warm fire, and since her new friend couldn’t see, ze even felt like staying the night here wouldn’t be a terrible risk. And it would certainly be better than braving the rain outside. Ze hated being wet. Her earliest memories were of water pressing all around her, and she avoided being wet whenever possible. 

However, ze still felt a little skittish around the woman, and sharing a seat cushion with her felt uncomfortably intimate, but ze did move closer and curl up at the woman’s feet and even dared to let her tail thump against hir new friend’s legs a few times. It was pretty cozy on the floor next to the fire, and ze yawned despite hirself. There was a distant warning in the back of hir mind that ze shouldn't fall asleep here, but the warm fire and full belly were working their magic and ze was asleep within minutes. 

**

Ze awoke with a jerk. The cabin was filled with light. Ze was on the comfy chair in front of the firepit, alone, with a blanket over hir. 

And ze was in hir natural form, with two arms and two legs, blue and scaly. 

Ze sat straight up, alarmed. When had ze fallen asleep? Did Person know that she wasn't really a puppy?

Ze looked around and saw a bed against the wall. It looked like it had been slept in, but there was nobody there now. Where was Person?

Had Person already left hir? Hir lip trembled as ze thought that was probably what happened. After all, anytime anyone had seen hir natural form, that's what had happened. Not even the wolves would let hir stay in their dens once they saw what ze was. 

Ze started crying softly, little sniffles at first that gradually got louder. Person had seemed so nice. Ze had shared food, and petted hir, but ze had left like everyone else. 

"Is everything alright?"

Ze jumped and changed into a puppy reflexively. She snapped hir head around and saw Person, sitting in a wooden chair placed directly in a ray of sunlight streaming in through the window. Hir heart leaped to see Person still here, and her black puppy tail wagged against the chair, making a thumping sound. 

"Oh," Person said softly. "That’s right; I forgot. You are a puppy. Are you safer that way?” 

Ze blinked, and changed back into hir natural form. Could this person really understand and accept hir? “Yes,” ze said, so softly it was almost a whisper. She wasn’t sure she had been heard at all. 

The person's face was turned towards hir in the sunlight, but her face registered no reaction to the change. She spoke very gently. "Can you tell me your name?"

Ze hesitated. Ze knew some words from listening to and watching people, but ze had never actually spoken to anyone, and she had only the vaguest idea what a ‘name’ was. "No," ze said. Her voice was higher in pitch than Person's, ze noticed. 

Person startled a little. Ze crouched, ready to move if she had misunderstood the situation. But Person just chuckled. 

"That's—well! I'm sorry, my dear; I didn't actually expect you to answer," Person said. "You're so little, I didn't know if you could speak at all."

Ze frowned. "Not little," ze said stubbornly. Ze was far too big to be one of the loud black birds that she tried so hard to emulate and was almost too big to be a labrador puppy. 

"Well, you're little compared to me," Person said reasonably. "And it's okay if you don't want to tell me your name. My name is Irene."

Ze wasn't sure what that meant. "Iwene," ze said. It didn’t sound quite the same when ze said it, for some reasons. 

Person smiled. "That's right. I am Irene."

It started to make sense in hir mind. Person had a word for hirself, and that word was "Irene," Ze said, more excitedly. "Iwene!" She clapped hir hands and bounced on the chair. 

Irene's laughter sounded a little like birdsong. "Well, I'm glad you like it, little one!"

Ze abruptly stopped bouncing. " _Not_ little," ze reminded Irene. Ze thought for a moment. "I want one."

"What do you want?"

Ze didn't have the words for that. "Iwene," she said again, insistently. "I want one."

"If I knew what you wanted, I would do everything I could to give it to you," Irene said gently. "You can help yourself, if that's easier, little—oh, I'm sorry! What should I call you?"

Ze huffed in frustration. "I don't know! I want one!" 

Irene cocked hir head. "You want—a name? You don't have a name?"

"Name," ze repeated. That's right; Person—no, Irene—had said that word earlier. "I want name."

Irene paused with her mouth open for a long moment. "Well, I can give you a name, or you can pick one," she finally said. 

Ze contemplated that solemnly. Ze wasn't used to making decisions that weren't life or death, and ze was becoming uncomfortably aware of how many words ze did not know. "How?"

Irene looked contemplative. "Ahh...tell you what, we can talk about that later. Would you like some breakfast?"

Ze knew that word; ze had learned words related to food quickly. Ze nodded eagerly and then remembered Irene couldn't see hir. "Yes, yes," she said, saying it twice for emphasis. 

"Do you like eggs?"

"I like all food," Ze said fervently. Eggs weren't actually her favorite—too slimey—but all food was good. 

Irene smiled. "I guess I won't ask you how you like them cooked, then."

Ze wasn't sure what 'cooked' meant, but ze like it when Irene smiled. 

**

The eggs were good and ze ate as much as Irene put in front of her, until hir tummy felt tight. That made hir aware of another need she hadn't dealt with since the day before. "I have to go," ze said, pushing the door open and running outside. Ze felt like ze was going to burst if ze didn't relieve hirself soon. Ze got far enough away from the cabin that the smell wouldn't be noticed from the cabin and squatted, letting out a sigh as ze emptied hir bladder. 

Ze had to do the other one, too, but fortunately the dirt was soft enough that ze could bury it. Ze didn't want to attract predators to Irene's cabin so ze buried it carefully, taking hir time once everything seemed less urgent. 

"Puppy! Little girl? Little boy? Please come back!"

Ze heard the call and looked towards the cabin. Irene was a few steps outside the front door of her cabin, sounding very distressed. Hir heart pounded as ze started running towards Irene. “Here," she called. "I—make water. And—bad smell.”

"You you mean you…? Oh, my dear, we have a room for that inside!”

Ze frowned in confusion. A room for that, inside that cabin? Surely ze would have smelled it. 

Ze walked over to where Irene patiently was holding her hand out. Ze looked at it in hesitation. Then she shyly put her own small blue (and dirt-covered) hand into Irene’s.

\--Only for Irene to stiffen. “Is that dirt?” she asked faintly. 

Ze looked at her hand. “Yes,” she after a brief inspection. “Bad smell under dirt,” she offered as an explanation, trying to explain that ze had buried hir feces, wishing ze knew more words to explain. 

“Let me show you where I—make water,” Irene said, “And, we can talk about what a bath is.”

**

The water closet was a small room next to the kitchen with its own door that ze hadn't noticed before. It had a toilet, and Irene talked proudly about the new plumbing, but since ze really didn't understand most of what Irene said, ze didn't remember a lot of it. Ze picked up that the white chair with a hole in it was called a toilet, and Irene even demonstrated sitting on it and making water. She then showed hir how to pull the chain so it took the yellow water away. Ze wanted to keeping pulling the chain but Irene said, "Only when you pee." 

Overall, ze liked the toilet. It was nice to not have to bury it every time. The bathtub was a different story, though. 

Ze grasped the idea of bath pretty quickly, and was immediately against it. Ze had been wet many times before in her life: when ze'd had to hide from predators in a stream, or when it rained, and every time was cold and unpleasant. In fact, her earliest memory was of water, and feeling like she was drowning. Ze watched as Irene brought bucketfuls of hot water from the kitchen, spilling quite a bit of it as she did so. When Irene finally had what she determined to be enough water in the tub, she held her hand out to hir.

Ze frowned at her. Ze crossed hir arms and tucked hir dirty hands under hir blue armpits. "No bath," ze said clearly. 

Irene was very distressed, and she frowned as she slowly lowered her hand. "But you will get sick. Baths are important, darling, it won't hurt you!"

Ze pressed hir lips together. Ze did not like being wet at all, but Irene had been good to hir. Maybe it was worth indulging her. 

"I’ll do it first, so you see it won’t hurt you," Irene said. She pulled her garment off over her head and, grasping the side of the tub, climbed in with a sigh. "Oh, that feels good," she said with a smile in hir direction. 

Ze stepped closer to the tub, fascinated by Irene's body. She was pale beige all over, no scales or blue parts. She had hair under her arms, but most interesting of all were the parts that were the most different from hir own body--the two protuberances on her chest. 

"What are those?" ze couldn't help but ask. Ze walked closer to the tub and clutched the edge with both hands. It was a big tub; there was more than enough room for hir to climb in as well, if ze wanted to. 

"What are what?"

Ze bit her lip and looked down at the water. It wasn't quite steamy anymore, but ze could still feel the warmth rising from it and it made the water seem less bad, since it wasn’t cold. Ze grasped the edge of the tub and swung hir leg over until it touched the warm water, then ze carefully lowered hirself in, next to Irene's leg. She sank into the water up to her shoulders. It did feel really good, not cold at all, and ze felt so relaxed that ze would have peed if ze hadn't already emptied her bladder as much as possible so she could pull the chain on the toilet earlier. 

Irene made a happy sound and sank a little lower in the water herself, so only her head was above the water. Ze could still see her chest under the water, though, and ze reached out a small blue hand to gently push at the one closest to hir. 

Irene jerked in surprise and ze quickly yanked hir hand back. "Sorry," ze said. "Sorry, Irene."

Irene relaxed slowly. "It's alright, lit--my dear. I can understand that you're curious."

"What _are_ they?" ze asked in such bafflement that it made Irene laugh loudly, peals of laughter echoing in the small room.

"They are breasts," Irene said when she had laughed herself out. "You might have them too, when you grow up. Are you a boy or a girl?"

Ze thought about that. Ze had the vaguest idea of what the things signified, but ze didn't fit in either group; neither the little girls ze'd seen from a distance in dresses with their hair in ribbons, nor the boys with their sticks and rock-throwing. Ze identified much better with the puppies and wolves and animals of the forest. "Do I have to?" ze asked. 

Irene's brow crinkled in confusion. "Do you have to--? You don't have to do anything, darling. I just wanted to know if you know what you are."

"Are you a boy or a girl?" ze asked. 

Irene smiled. "I'm a girl," she said. "Only girls have breasts."

Ze made hirself some breasts, but they felt weird, and after a moment ze let them melt back into hir body. "I'll be a girl," ze said. "Like you."

Irene laughed a little again. "I guess that’s a compliment! Thank you.” Irene groped for something along the wall next to the tub and found a small shelf with a waxy white rectangle. “Do you know what soap is?” she asked. “It helps get you clean. Like this.” Irene rubbed the white thing against her arms for a while and then rinsed them in the tub water, which became cloudy. Irene held the soap out to her.

The little girl accepted the soap and rubbed it on her arms, looking to Irene for approval and then feeling foolish when she realized that Irene couldn’t see her. The soap smelled pleasant and reminded her a little bit of humans. She ducked her her body down in the water to rinse, which was nice because it was cold outside the water.

Even though the water wasn't that cold, her teeth were chattering. The water was getting to her; it felt like it was seeping into her soul and trying to drag her down to the bottom. 

"Oh, of course you're cold, we should get out," Irene said. She carefully stepped out of the tub and grabbed a cloth that was hanging on a hook nearby. With a practiced hand, she wrapped the large cloth around her body and tucked it in so it stayed on by itself. The she grasped a second cloth. "If you're ready to get out, come here, and I will wrap this towel around you," she said. 

The little girl was confused, but realized quickly that being wrapped in a towel immediately after she left the water would be a very good idea. She braced against the edge of the tub and slid her feet over the side as fast as possible, shivering as she slid the few steps over to Irene. 

Irene knelt down and wrapped her with the towel. It was a nice feeling, so much nicer than she had ever experienced after being in water before. She couldn't help making a soft sighing sound. 

The little girl leaned her head against Irene as Irene rubbed the towel over her, warming her and drying her. It reminded her of the few times she had successfully fooled a wolf into thinking she was an abandoned pup; of the rough affection she had gotten before she was inevitably kicked out into the cold again when the wolf realized she was no pup. SHe thought probably Irene would kick hEr out eventually too, once she realized that the little girl was not a person, but right now Irene was being kind and she had learned to take what she could. 

Irene paused for a moment as her fingers brushed a spot on her cheek. Irene frowned slightly, and her heartrate sped up. Had she noticed? 

“Did you get hurt, here?” Irene asked gently, her thumb moving gently over one of the scales.

“No,” the little girl whispered. “Not hurt.” 

Irene bit her lip and sat down cross-legged in front of her, right on the bathroom floor. “I’m not sure what to do about you,” she said. “I thought you were a puppy last night, but when I reached down to pet you after you fell asleep, I realized you are human. But how did you get all the way out here? Where are your parents? What is your name? You don’t even seem to know if you are a boy or a girl.”

The little girl didn’t understand some of the questions, and she couldn’t answer the ones she did understand. She just wanted Irene to like her, and she suddenly realized how painfully important to her that was. 

“Don’t make me go,” she whispered. She tipped her head and put her face against Irene’s hand. 

“Oh, my dear...I wish...won’t your parents miss you?”

She shook her head. “Nobody,” she said. She wrapped her towel around herself as she started to shiver and realized it would be warmer with fur, she she changed into her puppy shape. 

Irene jerked as if burned. "What the hell?" she said, pushing herself backwards and away from hir.

The little girl immediately changed back. "I'm sorry," she said, feeling her bile rise. Had she just ruined everything? Would Irene kick her out now? "I was...cold. I'm sorry."

Irene's mouth opened and her sightless eyes blinked a few times. "You...you can change shape," she breathed. "You...I've...I've dreamed about you!" Her voice was hushed, but not with the fear or disgust that the little girl had been expecting; more with wonder.

Irene reached her hand out to her again. She didn't move, frozen with indecision, and Irene's hand hung there in the air. "I know your name," she said. She blinked a few more times as her eyes filled with tears. "I can't believe...I just can't believe you are here, now."

The little girl was starting to feel confused and a little frightened. Irene's reaction didn't make any sense to her at all. She understood one part, though. "What's my name?" she asked. 

Irene smiled and laughed a little, bringing her outstretched hand to her face to wipe the tears off. "I'll show you." She stood up and held her hand out to her. The little girl hesitantly took Irene's much larger hand into hers. 

"Can you lead us outside?" Irene asked. "I hear them. Your namesake, I mean. I want you to see them."

Bemused, she led Irene out of the water closet, through the small cabin, and out the front door. It was a sunny day and the sunlight felt warm on her shoulders. 

"Do you hear that?" 

The little girl listened and heard the sound the big black birds made. "Caw, caw," she said, imitating them perfectly. A few flew into sight and landed on the roof of the cabin, eying the people below dispassionately. 

Irene startled, and then laughed. "Yes. Yes! Do you know what they are?"

"Yes!" the little girl said excitedly. "The birds. They see me!" She didn't have the words to explain that what she meant was how the big black birds were the only beings she had met who didn't seemed alarmed or put off by her appearance. She was wriggling with excitement that Irene knew them too. 

"Those birds are smart, and resourceful,” Irene said in her usual serene tone. “They know how to survive. They understand a lot more than people think they do. Many people don't like the birds because they are considered bad luck."

The little girl frowned. She wasn't really sure what 'luck' was, but she knew 'bad'. "Why?" she asked.

Irene contemplated that. "Well. I'm told they are ugly, and clearly they are loud...and sometimes they steal food from people."

The little girl knew that about the birds. They had never stolen food from her, but she ate any food she had immediately, anyway. She didn't think they were ugly. She thought they were beautiful, and she liked to look like them...because her own form was so obviously bad. 

In fact, she realized, the only thing she didn't have in common with them was being loud. "Me," she said, softly. 

The she realized that she _wanted_ to be loud. The little girl had always been quiet, afraid of being hunted or found, and she admired the birds because they weren't afraid. "ME!" She said loudly, her high-pitched voice ringing through the forest around them. 

Irene laughed and squeezed her hand. "They are called Ravens," she said, kneeling next to the little girl, still holding her hand. Irene’s face was split in a big smile. "Would you like to be called Raven?"

 _Raven._ She considered. "Waven," she said, concentrating hard because she knew that it wasn't quite right. "W--W--Raven," she said carefully. It was a challenge, but she liked it. She liked the way it sounded. She tugged on Irene's hand. "Iwene. You say it."

"Raven," Irene said softly. "I had no idea this is how we would meet. It's nice to know life still has some surprises for me."

Raven's forehead wrinkled as she struggled to understand what Irene was saying. "You know me?"

Irene pulled Raven into an embrace. "I've dreamed about you," she whispered. "You are going to be the most important person in my life, my most intimate friend. There is a lot that is to yet be determined, but that is certain."

Raven was initially alarmed at being hugged—nobody had ever done that to her before, in her memory—but she quickly relaxed when she realized how warm and safe it made her feel. And Irene liked her. Irene wasn't afraid of her. "Can I stay here?" she asked, mumbling into Irene's hair. "With you."

Irene shook with a little laughter. "That's my resourceful girl. Yes, please stay. Someday...well, we'll talk about that later. But yes, my dear, I want you to live here with me."

Raven felt warm and happy. Irene wanted her, at least for now. 

**

They had a dinner of canned olives and canned asparagus, which made Raven realize that perhaps it would be best if she found something to stand on so she could see the pictures on the cans for future meals. Irene took the unusual meal in stride, delightfully surprised at the first bite of each. 

Irene told Raven about her dreams of the future and how she had realized that what she dreamed often came true. She didn't understand most of what Irene said, but Raven loved the melodic and smooth sound of her voice. Irene mentioned a professor several times and something about ex-men and something called magneto, but a lot of it didn’t make sense, like hearing someone talk about a half-remembered dream. After dinner, they sat close together in the comfy chair in front of the fire and Irene talked until her voice was hoarse and Raven's eyes were drooping. 

Raven yawned audibly and Irene abruptly stopped speaking. "Oh, dear. We had best go to bed. Here, I will find that blanket I had covered you with last night..." 

Irene started to stand but Raven pressed close to her. "Stay here," she mumbled. Irene was warm and Raven didn't want to leave her side. 

"Here? I don't fit..." Irene said uncertainly. "But...you could come sleep in my bed, with me?"

"Yes!" Raven said delightedly. "Like wolves."

"Like...wolves? Oh, they sleep all in a pile, don’t they? Yes, like that."

Raven ran to Irene's bed and jumped on it gleefully. She couldn't ever remember feeling this good. She wasn't cold, she wasn't hungry, she didn't have to hide from a predator. All because of Irene. 

Irene was smiling and making her way to the bed more slowly. She sat down on it and reached her hand to the dresser next to the bed, patting down and opening a drawer. "Would you like some—clothes?"

"No," Raven said. She had already burrowed under the covers. She thought clothes were dumb. She could just grow fur if she was cold, and the blankets were plenty warm compared to what she was used to. Also, clothes interfered with her changing forms. 

"Uh, alright," Irene said, seeming hesitant. She got under the covers and Raven immediately snuggled up against her. Irene slowly relaxed and they both fell asleep, pressed close together. 

**

Raven awoke abruptly the next morning because Irene had suddenly stiffened. Raven had turned in her sleep and one arm and one leg was thrown over the woman. 

"What is that?" Irene asked, her voice sounding loud and sharp in the grayish early morning light. 

"What?" Raven asked. 

"That...between your legs...do you have a _penis_?"

"No!" Raven said, because she didn't know what a penis was, but it sounded like Irene didn't like it. 

Irene had gone absolutely silent next to her. "I thought...how..."

Raven rolled away from Irene, suddenly wary. She pushed her hurt down. She should have known this was coming. 

"I'm sorry," Irene said, turning her face towards Raven. "I didn't mean...to push you away. I just didn't know." Her voice sounded gentle, but her forehead was still contorted in confusion. 

"Didn't know what?" Raven asked guardedly, on the far side of the bed, pressed against the wall. 

"I didn't know..." her voice trailed off uncertainly. "Am I wrong? You have a...an appendage between your legs, where you—where—where you make water from?"

Raven looked down at the blue thing between her legs where the water came out. "Yes," she said. "I'll make it go away." She melted the penis away and grasped Irene's hand to show her. "See, it's gone now."

Irene jerked her hand away before Raven could show her. "I'm not going to touch you there!" she said. "But of course you can...make it go away. Of course. How did I never see that, in my dreams?"

Raven was confused and unhappy and a part of her knew she should leave, but she found herself crying instead. "I'm sorry," she said. 

Irene immediately turned to her. "Oh, no, I didn't mean..." She reached a hand out to Raven and Raven stayed pressed against the wall but rested her face on Irene's hand, letting her tears drop down onto it. "I was just surprised, dear. I didn't mean to upset you. I just didn't know you were a boy."

Raven frowned. "I'm not a boy," she said. She had decided yesterday to be a girl because Irene was a girl and she didn't feel like changing her mind again. 

"Well, if you have a penis..." Irene hesitated. "Or maybe...I'm sorry. I mean, you...you can be anything you want to be. I just never saw even a glimpse of that in the future!"

"No penis," Raven said firmly. It was gone and she intended to keep it gone, if it meant she couldn't be a girl. 

"Okay," Irene said after a moment, with a sound in her voice like amused wonder. "If you want to be a girl, you're a girl!"

**

Raven stayed with Irene after that, making herself as useful and possible, which was actually quite useful. She adored Irene and thought she was the most kind and beautiful animal she had ever met. Irene talked a lot and Raven quickly picked up language much more quickly than she ever had before. She changed forms freely, becoming whatever was useful to Irene, but spending a lot of time in her natural form as well, minus the dangly bit of flesh between her legs. Not that Irene would know—she never touched Raven there—but Raven wanted to be like Irene. She tried to copy her shape sometimes, but she had no idea if she’d gotten it right since there were no mirrors. 

She could mimic Irene’s voice exactly after just a couple weeks, though. Her favorite thing to do was copy Irene’s laugh and do it with her in perfect synch because it would make Irene laugh harder. 

They slept in the same bed, every night, “Like wolves,” Raven called it, although Irene called it ‘cuddling.’ Raven tried to keep her penis gone the whole night by focusing on it really hard and Irene never complained about it again, although Raven wasn’t sure if that was because she had succeeded or because Irene didn’t want to upset Raven by calling attention to it. 

Raven had been living with Irene for about a month when she heard a sound that alarmed her to her core outside: the sound of civilization; of a truck engine. She transformed into a dog and barked, sitting beside Irene where she sat on the chair just outside the cabin’s front door, enjoying the feel of the dappled afternoon sunlight on her skin. Irene chuckled and stroked Raven’s fur.

“It’s just Logan,” Irene murmured to Raven. “He comes out here once a month to bring me supplies. It’s the only way I can survive out here by myself.”

 _You’re not by yourself anymore,_ Raven wanted to say, but she couldn't speak as a dog and she didn’t want to risk changing into her natural form in front of a stranger. The man parked his car in front of the cabin and Raven growled at him as he got out of the car. His eyes snapped to her and his footsteps slowed down as he got closer to the cabin. 

“Looks like you found a friend,” he commented, his voice casual. He sniffed the air and frowned slightly at Raven. 

“Logan, this is Raven,” Irene said, with a soft smile on her face. 

“Hiya, boy,” Logan said, kneeling in front of Raven and holding out a hand, palm down. Raven backed away, growling at him softly, her heart pounding. 

“Raven’s a girl,” Irene said firmly. 

Logan chuckled a little and sniffed more obviously. “I can assure, Irene, your, uh—friend, here is—”

“—is a girl,” Irene said firmly. “I don’t care what you think you smell. You don't know her heart."

Logan held his hands up in surrender and stood up slowly. He looked at Irene for a moment and then sighed heavily. "You know, it's that kinda crazy talk that—"

"That keeps people away?" Irene interrupted, with an ugly edge to her voice that Raven hadn't heard before. "Well, it didn't keep Raven away, did it?"

Logan sighed and shook his head. "I wasn't gonna say that, and your dog isn't…” He sighed. “You know what, never mind. I'll just carry your supplies in the house like the dumb grunt I am."

"Well, at least we can agree on something," Irene said dryly and Logan snorted, rolling his eyes. He went to his truck and started bringing boxes inside. Raven hovered uncertainly near the front door, staying in her dog form. She stuck her nose inside one of the boxes he’d brought into the kitchen and found it was filled with canned food and toilet paper and soap. 

It only took Logan a few minutes to bring the four boxes in. When he was done, he stood awkwardly on the front porch, looking at Irene. Raven moved closer to Irene and growled softly at him, just a warning. 

Logan ignored Raven completely. "I think you should know, your brother's been talking about bringing you back," Logan said after a moment. "He says he's worried about you all the way out here."

Irene scoffed. "What does he say when other people aren't around?"

Logan was quiet a moment. "He wants to tear down this old cabin and build a resort," he finally said softly. "He wants to institutionalize you."

Irene gripped the arms of her chair hard enough that her knuckles turned white. "He's going to do all of that," she said between gritted teeth. She inhaled and exhaled slowly and carefully. "But not today," she concluded with a somewhat forced smile. 

Logan inclined his head slightly at her words, even though he had to know that Irene couldn't see him. "I'll be here every month as long as you are," he said simply.

Irene stretched a hand out to him, and he took it. "Thank you, Logan. Sorry about earlier. Raven's a little sensitive about her gender."

A small frown crossed Logan's forehead and he scratched his neck. "Yeah. Well. I'll see you next month, Irene. Raven—" he turned to the dog with a smirk. "Nice to meet you."

Raven thumped her tail twice, but did not take her eyes off the man or change form again until he was so far away she couldn't hear his truck anymore. 

**

Logan did indeed come every month, even during the winter when the ground was covered with snow and he had to trek the supplies in on foot. Raven gradually became more comfortable around him, but never so much that she let him see her in her natural state. 

Irene loved to talk, and Raven learned a lot about her by listening. She learned that Irene’s parents had died and left her in the care of her brother, who wanted to institutionalize her, but Irene had instead persuaded him to let her stay in cabin that old man Darkholme had lived in until he’d died a number of years before. In the quiet of the evening when she thought Raven was asleep, Irene said one night that she thought her brother only allowed it because he thought she would have an accident and kill herself, and then she wouldn’t be a problem for him anymore. 

Raven thought about that over the course of the next year, and as she gradually noticed all the ways that not having her sight impacted Irene's life, she started to realize how likely to come true her brother’s expectation might have been if Raven had not been there for her. Irene once got disoriented outside in a snowstorm and Raven had to go find her, and they both got nearly too cold to recover. Another time, Irene slipped outside and her ankle swelled almost three times its original size; she would not have been able to get back to the cabin without Raven’s help. Irene was very good at getting around the cabin by herself and she had sharper hearing and a better sense of smell than most people, but she tended to be more accident-prone than Raven was. 

The conclusion Raven came to filled her with pride: Irene needed Raven. 

It was a revelation for Raven to realize that, because she felt a love and devotion for Irene so strong that she sometimes did not want to leave her side all day long. It made her swell with protective love to realize that she had a purpose in the world, and that purpose was to love Irene and keep her safe. 

Then one day, everything changed. 

It was mid-morning in the springtime, and Raven and Irene were both sitting in the grass in front of the cabin, enjoying the sunshine. Raven was weaving flowers into Irene’s hair and Irene was making faces at her because she didn’t want the sticky pollen in her hair, but she laughingly tolerated it because it made Raven happy. 

They heard the car engine at about the same time. “Wasn’t Logan here just a week ago?” Irene asked, puzzled. 

“Yes,” said Raven. She transformed into her familiar dog form and watched as a new and unusual vehicle drove up the overgrown dirt road to park in front of the cabin. 

“It’s not Logan, is it?” Irene whispered, as two unfamiliar men got out of the car. 

Raven whined softly, waving her tail anxiously. 

“Irene,” one of the men called over to her. 

“George,” she said faintly. “Is it today? Why don’t I ever know when it’s the day?”

The two men exchanged looks and one of them made a circular motion with his finger near his temple. 

“Irene, I can’t let you live like this anymore,” he said, approaching her. Raven stepped in front of Irene and growled at the man, her fur on end, with all her teeth showing. 

“Raven,” Irene said in a tremulous voice. Raven felt Irene’s shaking hand on her back. 

“Logan said you had a dog now,” George said. He kicked at Raven, but she dodged his boot and barked at him. “Looks like a real sweetheart, too,” he said sarcastically. 

“George, please, don’t,” Irene said, her voice breaking.

George turned to the other man, who was standing by the car and had not spoken. He mimed a movement that involved holding his thumb and forefinger out and squeezing his fingers. Raven cocked her head, trying to understand, as Irene desperately grabbed at Raven. 

“I meant to warn you. I thought we'd have more time," Irene said brokenly into Raven's floppy labrador ear. "You have to leave. He’s going to kill you if you don’t, Raven, please, run!”

Raven’s instincts battled each other. She needed to protect Irene; she needed to protect herself, and she needed to talk, and she couldn’t do that as a dog. Gritting her teeth, she switched into her natural form. 

“I’m not leaving you!” she shouted at Irene. 

“What the _fuck_ is that?” George said, behind Raven. She whirled and saw him staring at her in horror. 

“A blue—what is that, a chimp? What the—”

The man who wasn’t George was holding up a black metal tube and pointing it at Raven. “Whatever it is is, it's head is going to look great on my trophy wall,” he said with a smirk. 

“Raven, _RUN!_ ” Irene screamed. Raven bolted into the bushes a split second before the man squeezed off a round that would have hit Raven. It came uncomfortably close to Irene and the blind woman jerked and started crying uncontrollably. 

George sighed and rolled his eyes. He leaned over and roughly grabbed Irene by the arm. “You’re always saying you know the future; you should have seen this coming,” he said to her as he pulled her towards the vehicle.

“I did,” she said, trying unsuccessfully to jerk her arm out of her brother’s grasp. “That doesn’t make it hurt any less!”

Raven watched the exchange from the bushes, her heart pounding. The man with the rifle was stalking her, coming closer, but she made herself the color or the brush and didn’t move, watching Irene as her brother roughly walked her towards his car. 

“Raven,” Irene suddenly shouted as her brother tried to force her to duck her head to get in the car, “Go south. Find Charles Xavier. Look for him. Look for _this_.” She yanked her arm away from her brother long enough to cross her forearms above her head, making a ‘X’ shape. 

It was the last memory Raven would have of Irene for a very long time.

Raven wanted to cry out, but she dare not make a sound while the man hunting her was only a few feet away. Tears slipped down her cheeks as George forced Irene into the car and locked the door. She banged on the window from the inside, yelling, but the sound was muffled by the vehicle.

“Forget the monkey, or whatever the fuck it was,” George said, walking up to his friend. “I want to get this taken care of before it’s get too late. Do you have the matches?”

**

Raven had been too afraid of the man with the rifle to run after the car and it had gone too fast for her to catch, anyway. She stood in the ashes of the house she had shared with Irene for more than a year; there was nothing salvageable at all. The men had laughed about something called ‘insurance’ before they had left, and Raven found herself alone, again. She had never felt more empty or lost. Raven’s purpose had been to protect her beautiful friend Irene, and she had failed. 

She decided she had a new purpose: to find Irene, and save her. 

Raven considered what Irene had told her. Charles Xavier. Irene had said those words before, when she talked about her dreams. Charles Xavier was a person who could help. 

Irene had taught her how to find directions by the feel of sunlight on her face, so she knew how to go south. She assumed her best form for travel, the trusty labrador, and started walking. Raven had no conception of how long it would take to find the person she was looking for, and in fact it took longer than she would have dreamed possible. 

**

For the next three years Raven lived mostly as a dog, but occasionally she would take human form if it seemed expedient to do so, keeping her head down because faces were detailed and hard to get right. She slept in dumpsters, or in unlocked cars, lulling herself to sleep with the ever-more distant memory of what it was like to sleep like wolves with Irene in her narrow bed. Life without Irene had lost all its luster. She lived on scraps, on the fringes of human society with other human-dependent animals like coyotes and racoons and, as always, ravens. 

It didn't take her long to start breaking into houses in order to keep herself alive. But it had been so long since she’d seen Irene that at first she did not recognize the significance of the ‘X’ shapes she saw everywhere on the grounds of the huge mansion she’d broken into one cold fall evening.

She trailed a hand along the wall as she silently slipped down a great hall towards the kitchen. Just next to the kitchen there was a picture of a woman with straw-colored hair on the wall, wearing a dress the color of strawberries, and Raven slowed to study it. She didn’t get much of an opportunity to study faces. The woman was not nearly as beautiful as Irene, Raven decided, even though the particular features of Irene’s face had mostly faded in Raven’s mind. But of course, nobody was as beautiful as Irene.

She heard a noise behind her and she instinctively took the form of the woman she had just been studying, complete with the red dress. 

It was a little boy in blue pajamas holding a baseball bat. "Mother," he said in exasperation. "I thought you were a burglar!"

**

_Spring, 1975, North Dakota_

"Raven," Alex called over to her. "I think there's some more people down there." He gestured down the hall to her left. Charles had knocked all the guards out right after they'd arrived, of course; so much less violent than his absent nemesis Magneto. Raven didn't value the lives of the human guards as much as Charles did, but it was nice to be able to rescue mutants without the building threatening to crumble to pieces around her, the way missions with Erik had always gone. She nodded and headed down the way Alex had indicated. 

In the first cell to her left, there was a gray-haired woman chained to the wall. There was something familiar about the angle of her nose, the quiet dignity she had...Raven stopped right after she entered the cell in shock. Her mouth moved before she could find the words to speak. "I--Irene?" she finally whispered in disbelief. She took a step closer, filled with hope so painful it took her breath away. "It can't be..."

"Raven?" the woman said, lifting her chin and looking at Raven with eyes that didn't see. 

Raven dropped the gun she'd been holding and took two more shaky steps towards Irene. "Is this a trick?" she said, her voice catching. "You're dead, you can't be here!" She pressed her palms to her eyes as she wondered if there was a telepath making her see things that weren't there."

"It's me, Raven," the woman whispered, and as she squeezed her eyes shut, a tear rolled down her cheek. "I'm alive, I'm here, it's me!"

Raven stumbled and fell to her knees and looked up at Irene with her mouth open. She still couldn't believe it was her; her friend, the half-remembered beautiful friend from her childhood. Irene looked older; the long, chestnut-colored hair she'd had was gone, shorn unflatteringly short. She had scars on her arms and temples that she'd never had before. 

"Raven, please," Irene whispered. She moved the hands that were shackled to the wall behind her and they made a jangling sound. Raven lurched to her feet, grasping the ring of keys she'd taken from the unconscious main guard a few minutes earlier. With shaking hands she slowly managed to unlock the shackles and free Irene's hands. 

"I knew you'd come," Irene whispered, as Raven freed her hands. "I knew it. I knew you would come." She lifted her hands to gently touch Raven's cheeks, her fingertips tracing the scales there without a trace of revulsion. 

"They told me you were dead," Raven whispered, leaning her cheek into Irene's hand and closing her eyes. "After I found Charles, he helped me find the institution they took you to. They said...they said you had died, in an accident." She shook her head, her face crumpling. "I didn't know!"

"They took me away with the other mutants," Irene whispered. "They falsified our deaths so no one would come looking for us while they did their _tests_." She nearly spit out the last word. 

"You're a—you're a mutant?" Raven said in confusion, although she realized as she said it that Irene wouldn't be here in this place if she wasn't. 

"Don't you remember all the dreams I would tell you about?" Irene said, smiling sadly. "They all happened, in one way or another. I can't always tell when, and sometimes it's not exactly what I've been shown, but my dreams are all true, Raven. They are all real." 

"That's how you knew I'd come for you," Raven whispered. 

Irene nodded and Raven noticed how for the first time how thin and dirty she was. "Can you walk?" she asked. 

Irene nodded. "If you help me, I can." 

Despite her words, she nearly stumbled on her first step. Raven dropped the key ring and put her arm around Irene, leading her out of the cell. 

Alex looked at her in confusion as she led Irene down the hall and towards the front doors of the facility. "Is she all there was?" he asked. 

"I don't know," Raven said to him distractedly. All her attention was on Irene. "She can't see. I didn't look for others."

"Oh, okay," Alex said uncertainly. Usually on these kinds of rescue missions Raven was very efficient and did an assessment of how many mutants needed rescuing and what condition they were in before she helped any individually, unless their lives were in immediate danger. 

As soon as they were out the front door of the detention facility, Irene's face lifted and she gave a huge sigh of happiness. "Do you know how long it's been since I've felt sunshine on my face, or smelled flowers blooming?"

"No," said Raven honestly, feeling many things at once and trying to keep it together for Irene's sake. "But I'm going to make sure you are never locked up again, ok, Irene?" Her voice quavered a little but she didn't start crying again. 

"I know," Irene said simply. "Nothing is going to separate us again, Raven."

Raven led Irene up the ramp and into the Blackbird, where Charles was waiting for them. Of course Charles didn’t wait for Raven to introduce Irene to him. "Irene," he breathed. "I am very honored to meet you. Your gift, your mind...it's beautiful, and extraordinary!"

"Irene, this is Charles Xavier," Raven said feeling oddly anxious about introducing the two of them. "Charles is a telepath."

"Yes," Irene said with a smile. "Yes, he is. But that is not his best feature."

Charles raised his eyebrows and looked at Raven. 

"His best feature is that he saved you, Raven," Irene whispered. "That path wasn't set, you know. There are paths where you missed each other completely. There was one I could have taken years ago that would brought me to the mansion decades sooner, but without you. But--" she shook her head. "It doesn't matter now. We're together, as we should be, and oh, my dear, we have such catching up to do!"

**  
Back at the mansion, Hank looked Irene over to assess her general health while Raven hovered anxiously nearby. Raven showed her to a room of her own, making sure Irene knew where everything was by touch before leaving her for the evening. 

But Raven lay in her own bed staring at the ceiling. It seemed almost cruel to be apart from Irene now when they had already lost so many years. She silently rolled out of bed and crept down the hall, stopping just outside Irene's door, unsure as to whether or not she should continue. 

"Raven?" 

It was Irene's voice, soft and unmistakable, with the musical quality that Raven distantly remembered. She grasped the doorknob and pushed the door open. She swallowed and licked her lips before speaking. "I just..." she scratched her arm absentmindedly. "I just thought..."

Irene was lying in her bed, and she pulled the covers back and patted the mattress next to her. "I know," she said with a smile. "Like wolves, right?"

Raven smiled, though her eyes filled with tears. She climbed into the bed next to Irene and snuggled against her, breathing in the clean, vaguely soap-scented smell of her. "Like wolves," she agreed. 

They snuggled next to each other and Raven was about to fall asleep when Irene said, "Do you remember the first time we slept this way?"

"Of course," Raven murmured. "It was the first time I felt...happy." She fell silent, lost in her own thoughts, remembering that night. "Do you know, I haven't seen my penis is years," she said softly into Irene's hair. 

"You certainly seem...womanly," Irene said. Raven chuckled a little, feeling a warm spark of something deep within her at those words, before she became somber again. 

"Only one other person even knows about that," Raven confessed. "The doctor you met earlier. He tested my DNA, years ago, and he..." she trailed off, chuckling. "He absolutely could not believe it, to the point of distrusting every piece of equipment in his lab. And he even knew I was a shapeshifter, but since he wanted..." she broke off. "Well, anyway, it's not something anyone knows about, except him, and he would never talk about it with anyone but me. Even Charles—he promised not to read my mind, and he would have said something if he knew. He really can't keep quiet." She lapsed into silence. 

"But you and the doctor," Irene said. "You never...I mean, you aren't..." Irene sounded uncharacteristically awkward. 

"We're...friends," Raven said slowly. "We used to be...maybe, something else, but we never quite...jelled." Both women were silent, just breathing in the silence of the room together for a few moments 

"I'm glad about that," Irene whispered after a few moments. 

The tiny spark that had been ignited in Raven's stomach a few minutes before grew and warmed her from within. "I'm glad you're glad," she whispered into the crook of Irene's neck, where he nose was nestled, smiling a little. "I guess part of me was afraid you wouldn't see me as more than a little girl."

"I know you as much from our future as our past now, Raven," Irene said. "There are many paths to take from here. We don't have to decide it all right now. Just know that you are always welcome in my bed. Never wonder if I want you near, because I always do."

Before that moment, Raven hadn't known what true acceptance felt like, even thought it was something she had fought for her entire life. Charles had had qualms about her natural appearance ever since she'd been a child, and so she'd left with Erik, only to find out that he was emotionally unavailable to everyone—except Charles. But Irene knew Raven, and knew her secrets, and unreservedly accepted her; it filled a void in her she hadn't even known had been empty. 

"I want to be near you too," she finally whispered, unable to encompass everything she was feeling in words, until she realized she did know the words. "I love you, Irene. I have since the day we met. I hope we can always be..." she wrapped her arms and even her legs around Irene, prompting Irene's musical chuckle. "...like wolves."


End file.
